// Loads the Linker plugin ga('require', 'linker'); ga('linker:autoLink', ['therapyology.janeapp.com/'], false, true);

“I’ll Do It Tomorrow!” The Story of One Perfectionist to Another

Jaclyn Pfingsten smiles for the camera as she poses in front of a wall. She is an online therapist in Michigan can offer support with online therapy in California and other services. Contact a young adult therapist in West Bloomfield, MI to learn more today! 94118 | 48322 | 48323

By: Jaclyn Pfingsten, LLMSW

A woman covers her face as she sits in front of her laptop. An online therapist in Michigan can offer support for perfectionism in work and life. Contact a young adult therapist in West Bloomfield, MI to learn more about online therapy in California and other services today! 94118 | 48322 | 48323I wanted to write a blog on procrastination…. but then I kept saying to myself, “oh, I’ll do it tomorrow!” What was holding me back from writing it? Perfectionism.

Let’s talk about it. Well, I have been meaning to write this blog post since the summer. But, I was waiting for the …perfect time… the perfect idea… and now here we are and it’s fall. 

Do you sometimes feel like you struggle with perfectionism? Perfectionism can impact so many different areas of your life:

  • Your relationships
  • Your ability to go after your goals
  • Even the way you show up in the world

Let’s talk about 5 ways perfectionism might be impacting you:

Procrastination

Procrastination can stem from perfectionism, as we wait for the perfect time. I talked about this in the intro to this blog. Waiting for the perfect time can hold you back from starting at all. Do you ever notice how the perfect time is always in the future? It’s always something you are going to do one day when it is the “perfect time” that never seems to come.  

Over planning

Perfectionists can get stuck in the planning phase. Thinking about the details and the “what ifs” that need to be assessed in order for things to be perfect. Planning can be a wonderful thing. But perfectionism is a vicious cycle. It is a constant process where you can never plan enough to actually start.   

Rechecking

Perfectionism can lead to constant rechecking. Almost like rereading and retyping the text you were going to send over to make it perfect. Before you know it, 10 minutes have gone by! 

Quitting when learning something new

We have all learned a new skill before. But, those of us who struggle with perfectionism can find it very difficult to be “new” at something. This can cause us to quit before we’ve even given the amount of time needed to be “new” and to “learn” the skill. 

Anxiety

You might have guessed this one but perfectionism can cause anxiety. You might feel tense, on edge, or have ruminating thoughts as you strive to be perfect!

Perfectionism can stem from many different things

A man covers his face as he sits on a sofa. He appears to be suffering from anxiety. Contact an online therapist in Michigan to learn how a young adult therapist in West Bloomfield, MI can offer support. Or, learn more about options for online therapy in California today! 94118 | 48322 | 48323

For example, the desire for approval or the desire to avoid rejection or ridicule. I’ll admit that I want you, yes you, the one reading this blog to benefit from what I’m writing. I want you to feel seen, heard, and validated. My desire for you is to approve of what I am writing did contribute to my procrastination. Yes, even I as an online therapist can feel the desire for approval. When I’m not careful I can also get stuck in the perfectionism loop

You might now be asking what you can do to intervene. Or, you may ask how to change how perfectionism affects your quality of life, or ability to pursue goals.  

How do we combat perfectionism?

Here are 5 ways you can begin to face perfectionism head-on:

The just get started method

You heard that right, I know it might sound cringy but it’s proven to be effective. You may have an essay you need to write, an assignment to turn in, or a goal you have had in the back of your head for so long. But, you can’t seem to get started as you ponder how perfect you want it to turn out. Instead, stop thinking, get started! Open up a Word document. Set a timer for 5 minutes to flow free as you write without the expectations of making it perfect. Once you get started you might be surprised that you can keep going! It takes some of the pressure off of the daunting task. I used this tip to write this blog!

Setting aside a certain amount of time for planning

As we talked about above, perfectionists can get caught in the cycle of “planning” with no end in sight. Set a limit for yourself for the planning phase when you find you are spending hours, days, or weeks planning and running through ideas. For example, I will allow myself one hour of planning before I “just get started” even if my plan is not perfect

Done is better than perfect

This is one of the hardest pieces to accept. But, when perfectionism is holding you back from completing your goals, done is better than an incomplete perfect goal. If you want to apply to a certain college and want your admission essay to be perfect, you may continue to plan. Then, you may end up redoing, and not completing the essay! In many instances, done is truly better than perfect. You could miss the deadline or not apply at all because you are striving to be perfect!!

Committing to a certain amount of time/attempts before quitting

We may be prone to quitting as we are getting started. But, it can help to commit to a certain amount of time/attempts before quitting. You may think “I am going to stay at this new job for one year before I decide I am not good enough for the role.” Or, “I am going to play two seasons of soccer before I decide it is not my thing.” We then can work to cope with the uncomfortable feelings of not being the best, while we give enough time to learn. 

Using mindfulness skills to cope with the anxiety

When you are attempting the 4 tips listed above, it might bring up some anxiety. After all, perfectionism doesn’t magically go away due to our intervention. It’s important to practice some mindfulness skills to help yourself cope with the anxiety that might come up.  For example, bring yourself back to the present moment. Use your 5 senses to describe your present moment as it is. What can you see? Feel? Hear? Touch? Taste? In this present moment

Working With An Online Therapist Can Offer Support with Perfectionism

A hand holds a tower of three smooth rocks on one another in front of the ocean. This could represent the peace an online therapist in Michigan can help you achieve. Contact a young adult therapist in West Bloomfield, MI to learn more today! 48323 | 94118 | 48322

If you feel like perfectionism is holding you back from showing up in the world in the way you want to or is holding you back from going after the life you want, you are not alone. These skills might help you to begin your journey to combat perfectionism but are for educational purposes only and are not a replacement for therapy. When working with a therapist you can dive deeper into your specific situations and beliefs, and you are able to learn and practice coping skills specific to your needs. 

Please reach out today if you would like to set up an appointment! Remember you don’t have to wait for the “perfect time”. Reach out today and we can work through any discomfort of starting therapy together. 

Begin Working With An Online Therapist in Michigan or California

Overcoming that desire for perfection can feel impossible at times. But, our caring therapists would be happy to help you in pursuing the life you’ve always wanted. We support clients in both Michigan and California from our West Bloomfield, MI-based practice. To start your therapy journey, please follow these simple steps:
  1. Request an appointment
  2. Meet with one of our caring therapists
  3. Start meeting with an online therapist

Other Services Offered at Therapyology

We offer many services at our West Bloomfield, MI-based private practice. Our therapists also provide trauma-informed therapy, online therapy in Michigan and Californiatherapy for children of divorcegrief counselingtherapy for children, and therapy for teens. We also offer parent coaching and therapy for young adults. Learn more about our groups and workshops, Camp Therapyology groups, or FAQ today!
About Jaclyn Pfingsten, LLMSW
Previous Next
Close
Test Caption
Test Description goes like this
Share This